The Theme from Mahogany
by Kyla-Seashell
Summary: Rory and Jess become frustrated discussing their future with Rory heading off to college in a few months.Emily gets an invitation in the mail to Christopher & Sherrie’s wedding. Lorelai once again reflects over all that has gone on between her and Chris
1. Do You Hear What I Hear?

**Author's Note**:The title comes from the movie "Mahogany" starring Diana Ross and Billy Dee Williams. Nobody liked the movie, but the theme from the movie, "Do You Know Where You're Going To?" sung by Diana Ross was a huge hit, and nominated for an Oscar.

"The Nearness of You" is a song by the wonderful Norah Jones. Ella Fitzgerald did the song many moons ago as a duet with Louis Armstrong on trumpet.

**Spoilers**: None. If any of this should happen in the future, just assume I have a really brilliant mind.

The Theme from "Mahogany" – Do you know where you're going to?

_Rory and Lorelai are walking through Stars Hollow towards Luke's in early December. The town in decorated, as usual, with humble, yet spunky twinkle lights, including Luke's._

LORELAI: Oh my God, what's that smell?

RORY: It's _heavenly_.

LORELAI: It's beyond heavenly! It's…well, I guess you can't go up beyond heaven, huh?

RORY: I should say not.

LORELAI: Still, it's like sugar, and cream, and a dozen Oompa Loompas all covered in one perfectly pretty package.

RORY: Eew, why would anyone eat oompa loompas?

LORELAI: Why would anyone eat bean curd? I don't know, but they sure got a lot of it at Al's Pancake World.

RORY: _(sniffs) _It smells like barbecue, but without barbecue sauce.

LORELAI: What is barbecue without barbecue sauce?

RORY: A senseless world.

LORELAI: I hear that, sister. Hey, look. _(Points to Luke's)_

_They walk into Luke's where every table is filled, and many people are standing. Most people are casually dressed-up._

RORY: Oh, my God. What's going on here?

LORELAI: _(Slowly, surveying the room)_ I don't know. Do you think Luke ordered free Pay-Per-View for everyone?

RORY: Yeah, that's probably it.

LORELAI: Who – who are all these people?

RORY: Stars Hollowians?

LORELAI: Hmm, that's funny. Stars Hollowians. Oh! Stars Hollow…anites. No. Oh, oh, oh! Stars Hollowers. Like, we hollow things, like on All Hallows Eve. Yeah, everyone goes around with a pumpkin scoop in the night, hollowing out the trunks of trees dressed like Christina Ricci and Johnny Depp.

RORY: An immense plus.

LORELAI: Mm-hmm.

_Jess maneuvers his way towards them, carrying two mugs above his head. He hands Rory and Lorelai each a mug._

JESS: For you; for you.

RORY: What is all of this?

JESS: Christmas party. Can't you tell with the lights, and decorations, and innumerable people wearing red and green sweaters with pom-poms on them?

LORELAI: No, we can't tell! No one told us!

RORY: Yeah, how come we didn't know about this?

JESS: Well, for one thing, it's not for you.

LORELAI: Well, I'm afraid Jess, that that fault is _entirely_ yours.

JESS: _(ignoring Lorelai)_ Luke decided to open the diner to parties: birthdays, anniversaries. Normal town insanity.

RORY: Oh, that's nice.

LORELAI: And the question remains: why wasn't I told?

RORY: Ooh, this coffee is really good.

JESS: I put cinnamon in it.

RORY: _That's_ what I taste.

_Jess starts to lead Rory through the crowd._

LORELAI: Hey, where are you two going? No one answered my question! _(sips coffee)_ And this definitely doesn't have cinnamon in it! _(pause)_ Luke!

Fade to next scene the next morning at the Independence Inn. Lorelai and Michel are at the front desk.

LORELAI: _(on the phone) _Wow, that would be super….Happy? Happy cannot describe how…happy we feel right now. Yes. Thank you. Hmm, you too. _(hangs up phone)_ I don't believe that. A twelve piece orchestra. Do you know how hard it is to get a twelve piece orchestra? In Connecticut? In the snow? Two weeks before Christmas? Well, clearly you're as stunned as I am.

MICHEL: I apologize. Exactly what sentiment should my face have shown just now?

LORELAI: Nothin' special, just the usual.

MICHEL: Then all is well.

LORELAI: _(walks into the kitchen where Sookie is examining the notes for a recipe)_ Sookie!

SOOKIE: Yeah?

LORELAI: Guess who I was just on the phone with.

SOOKIE: I hope not one of those nasty Jamaican psychics.

LORELAI: Reese Norton.

SOOKIE: _(gasps) _Oh, you mean _Reese_ Reese Norton?

LORELAI: That's the guy!

SOOKIE: What did he say, what did he say?

LORELAI: Oh. You know, just that he'll be sending a 12-piece orchestra over here on Christmas Day.

SOOKIE: I knew it! I knew he'd pick the Independence. I mean, for a while there, I wasn't sure. But I definitely knew it.

LORELAI: Business will be _booming_ in a few weeks.

SOOKIE: I can hear the little drummer boy plugged into his amp right now.

LORELAI: I _love_ Christmas. Don't you?

SOOKIE: The thought of it, yeah. Though something always seems to go wrong around here. Something always catches on fire.

LORELAI: Aah, don't say that. We want to hold off on any unnecessary foreshadowing. Look how that turned out for the _Terminator_ movies.

SOOKIE: Hmm, true.

LORELAI: Oh, it'll be just like the Bracebridge Dinner last year, but with a bunch of people we've never met and will never see again in our lives. College.

SOOKIE: Anyone from town coming?

LORELAI: I don't know. People usually _leave_ Stars Hollow at this time, hit the big city – Exeter.

SOOKIE: It would be fun to have everyone here again, though.

LORELAI: It's too late for that, though. We're nearly completely booked. _(with a smile)_ Booming.

SOOKIE: Booming.

LORELAI: Booming! You know who else is booming, though – Luke.

SOOKIE: I think that's just his tough guy act.

LORELAI: No, Rory and I went in there yesterday and there was a party going on.

SOOKIE: Kool and the Gang?

LORELAI: Might as well have been. It was a bunch of people I didn't recognize. Luke is having _parties_ there now.

SOOKIE: Don't tell me they were Luke's friends.

LORELAI: No, he's clearing times for the diner for parties and anniversaries and…times when I'm not allowed in there!

SOOKIE: He kicked you out?

LORELAI: No, but we couldn't stay. Or at least _I_ couldn't stay. Rory disappeared with Jess, and there was no where to sit, so I just went home. Sat. Alone. In the dark.

SOOKIE: Now I see where Kirk's interest in you spawned from.

LORELAI: You're _hilarious_. You should go on tour, really. I'll book an agent right this very moment.

SOOKIE: I'm working now.

LORELAI: _(starts to back towards door)_ Tonight, I will build you a brick wall to stand in front of, complete with molded egg yolk stuck to it as proof how hilarious you are.

SOOKIE: Bye.

LORELAI: I got more, lady. I'll be back! _(goes through the door)_

Cut to Gilmore house from the inside on Friday afternoon. The doorbell is ringing, and Rory is rushing down the steps to answer it. She opens the door to find Jess standing there.

RORY: Oh, it's you.

JESS: And with a welcome like that, who wouldn't be standing outside this house in the winter, just to get a glimpse of such a fair maiden?

RORY: You could've just used the key in the turtle.

JESS: Then I would've unfairly surprised you.

RORY: I like surprises.

JESS: Me too.

(they kiss)

RORY: I have your book, but it got a little messed up.

JESS: Define messed up.

RORY: You know that episode of "I Love Lucy" where…

JESS: So, what did you do to it?

RORY: I dropped it in the washing machine.

JESS: Nice.

RORY: Thank you. It wasn't intentional.

JESS: The obligatory 'It wasn't intentional'.

RORY: It wasn't.

JESS: Uh-huh.

RORY: Mom was working at the Inn late a few nights ago, so I was doing laundry, and in it fell.

JESS: So it was clean water, that's good.

RORY: Mm-hmm.

JESS: Did you like it?

RORY: No.

JESS: No?

RORY: No.

JESS: Why not?

RORY: Ford Madox Ford was such a snotty guy. I don't understand how anyone could tolerate him.

JESS: What does have to do with the book?

RORY: And I mean, come on – who has the same first and last name, except for on 'I Dream of Jeannie', and Marky Mark, but even that's not completely the same.

JESS: I see your point. Where's the book?

RORY: In my room, on the dresser. Do you still want to go into Hartford to catch a movie?

JESS: I'll tell you when I come back.

RORY: Must not be a tough decision then. (Runs back up the stairs)

JESS: Nope.

_He walks into Rory's room and picks the book up off her dresser. He notices the bracelet Dean made for Rory behind her jewelry box._

Fade into scene of Emily's maid walking towards the door as the doorbell rings.

MAID: _(Opens the door and receives the mail, including a medium-sized box)_ Mrs. Gilmore, Mr. Gilmore's package is here.

EMILY: _(walks in from the next room)_ Thank you, Marcela. _(picks up the box)_ Richard will be so glad to see these engraved paperweights for the Gilmore Group.

MAID: Gilmore Group of what?

EMILY: Never mind, Marcela. Just close the door. _(she sorts through the mail cheerfully, but her smile fades when she comes across one specific envelope. A shot from over her shoulder shows the return address of Christopher and Sherrie. Emily begins to tear open the letter, then stops.)_ Oh, dear God. _(sighs)_

Cut to Lorelai and Rory in the living room that night getting ready to go to dinner. The faint sound of drums can be heard in the background.

LORELAI: Ugh, it was such a _mess_! It was like bubbles, and powder, and bananas. Sheer insanity _(Rory is laughing)_! It was like a scene out of that Rico Suave video.

RORY: And those are the worst scenes to see.

LORELAI: Michel was _so_ trying not to cry.

RORY: And did he fail?

LORELAI: Miserably.

RORY: Well, it's a good thing that happened today and not on Christmas Day.

LORELAI: Oh, I know. I counted my lucky stars. I have fourteen.

RORY: Hmm.

LORELAI: I'll have to call Joe again about that new washing machine. God, those things are expensive.

RORY: You have to spend money to make money, Mom.

LORELAI: That's my little businesswoman. Ugh, Dave Thomas would be so proud.

RORY: That's just what I was thinking.

LORELAI: I assume you will be free Christmas Day.

RORY: Of course. I'm all yours.

LORELAI: Okay, good, because this will be quite a show at the Inn. This group…wow, I hear they're so good.

RORY: _(shouting)_ But are they better than Lane's band?

LANE: _(from Rory's bedroom)_ Never!

LORELAI: _(shouting)_ Thatta girl!

RORY: If we were more high-tech we could have a webcast of Dave and the guys in Hartford playing and Lane here in Stars Hollow, a la Dana Carvey and U2 from the Video Music Awards.

LORELAI: A moment that will live in infamy.

RORY: I mean, who knew Dana had it in him?

LORELAI: No one, basically.

RORY: Exactly right.

Cut to Emily, Lorelai, and Rory at dinner that night.

LORELAI: _(whispering)_ What is she doing? _(Looks at the maid who is standing in the hallway watching them eat)_

EMILY: I told her she wasn't needed, that she could go and sit and … tend to something.

LORELAI: What, like Little Bo Peep?

EMILY: No, like a maid should do.

LORELAI: What's her name?

EMILY: Marcela.

LORELAI: Marcela, hon, what's wrong?

MARCELA:_ (quietly)_ Nothing, I'm fine.

LORELAI: Well, really, we're okay, you can go … tend to something. We'll be fine.

MARCELA: Are you quite sure?

LORELAI: Quite, yeah, we are. _(They all nod. She leaves)_ Wow, that is insecurity at its highest level.

RORY: How old is she?

LORELAI: Not old enough to work for Emily Gilmore, that's for sure.

EMILY: Oh, really, why is that?

LORELAI: She'll grow up fast, though. They all grow up fast.

EMILY: Lorelai, I'd like a word with you.

LORELAI: Oh, mom, I was just kidding about the growing up thing.

EMILY: In the kitchen, please.

LORELAI: Okay, I'll shelve that joke then. _(smiles at Rory)_

In the kitchen.

LORELAI: What is it, Mom?

EMILY: I received a piece of mail today.

LORELAI: Oh, really, from who?

EMILY: Christopher.

LORELAI: _(pauses)_ That's funny, it's seems like I should be sending him packages. Like Anthrax packages.

EMILY: It was his wedding invitation.

LORELAI: _(sighs, shakes her head)_

EMILY: I'm not going to try to reunite the two of you again, don't worry. I just wanted to let you know, and you can talk to Rory about it.

LORELAI: Thank you, Mom. I really appreciate that.

EMILY: You're welcome. _(pauses)_ I wish everything could have worked this one time.

LORELAI: Oh, I've heard that before.

EMILY: If that damn woman hadn't gotten pregnant―

LORELAI: It's not about Sherrie. With Christopher…it's always been about him. Something's always been screwy with him, and this was the final nail in the coffin of his screwiness. Even if Sherrie hadn't gotten pregnant. It doesn't matter anymore. It wouldn't have worked out.

EMILY: It would have been a nice picture. A perfect picture.

LORELAI: It was. For one day, everything really was.

EMILY: _(sighs)_ We shouldn't leave Rory waiting.

LORELAI: Yeah. _(Emily starts to walk away)_ Hey – can I see it?

EMILY: See what?

LORELAI: The invitation. I just…it would probably be good for me to see it. You know, put iodine on the wound, help it heal.

EMILY: That's a very interesting analogy.

LORELAI: He's still in the back of my mind, and I need to get him out of there.

EMILY: I'll get it for you.

LORELAI: Thanks. _(goes back into the dining room)_.

RORY: What was that all about?

LORELAI: Oh, you know, just some mother-daughter stuff.

RORY: We're mother and daughter.

LORELAI: Thanks for the update, Tina.

RORY: You're welcome, Jimmy.

LORELAI: We'll talk about it in the car.

RORY: Ooh, Car talk.

LORELAI: Very serious business.

In the car.

RORY: Okay. In the car.

LORELAI: Seatbelt on?

RORY: Seatbelt on.

LORELAI: Door locked?

RORY: Door locked.

LORELAI: Confidence boosted?

RORY: What does that mean?

LORELAI: _(pauses)_ Uh, well, the thing that your grandmother and I were talking about was that she received an invitation to your dad's wedding.

RORY: Oh.

LORELAI: And the two of you are getting along better than before, and I understand if you don't want to go still, but I'm still saying, you might just wanna have that, you know? To keep, to remember?

RORY: I get what you're saying.

LORELAI: You totally don't have to. Just…continue thinking about it.

RORY: What day?

LORELAI: February twelfth.

RORY: I think I'm in a turkey calling contest that day.

LORELAI: Hey, obligations.

RORY: It's just not right, you know? They're not getting married because they love each other; they're getting married so papa won't preach. That's not how it should happen. If Dad ever does get married some day to someone, it should be…you.

LORELAI: Rory.

RORY: And in every other situation he's totally lying to himself, and the world. You know that.

LORELAI: Well, you know what? You're right. It is wrong, morally, 21st-centuryally… thinking. But he's Christopher, you know? He's irresponsible, so he does what he thinks is responsible. They should make "Responsibility for Dummies", just for him.

RORY: He'd probably end up using the book as a plate.

LORELAI: Probably.

RORY: Or a fly-swatter.

LORELAI: Very true.

RORY: Or he'd make a paper hat, and pretend to be Yankee Doodle.

LORELAI: That's Christopher.

RORY: I don't even know how to feel about this anymore. He's my dad, I love him, but he makes it _so_ hard sometimes. And I hate feeling guilty about not talking to him. But at the same time, why should I?

LORELAI: Hey, you don't have to explain. I totally get it.

RORY: _(sighs)_ Now I feel all icky.

LORELAI: Me too.

RORY: We should go to Luke's.

LORELAI: I think it's a must.

Cut to Rory and Lorelai walking into a nearly empty Luke's.

LORELAI: Huh, well look at that. No one.

RORY: No, look: Jen and Barb for Bridge night.

LORELAI: Bridge night with two people. _Bridge_ with two people. Huh. _Bridge_.

RORY: _(sits on barstool)_ Hey, Luke.

LUKE: Hi, Rory. Lorelai.

LORELAI: Lucas.

RORY: Where's Jess?

LUKE: Upstairs.

RORY: Thanks. _(goes up the stairs)_

LUKE: _(to Lorelai)_ What'll you have?

LORELAI: Just a burger and fries. To go.

LUKE: Coming right up.

LORELAI: I'll just go wait over here. _(sits at a table and watches Luke as he prepares her meal, which he notices.)_

LUKE: Something wrong?

LORELAI: With me? Oh, no. I'm just…tired.

LUKE: Aren't we all.

Upstairs

RORY: _(knocks on door)_ Jess, it's me.

JESS: _(opens door)_ Hey.

RORY: Hi. _(she notices he's wearing a coat and gloves)_ Where are you going?

JESS: Out.

RORY: Out where?

JESS: Just for a walk.

RORY: Oh. It's just that it's kind of cold. Actually, really cold.

JESS: I'll live. _(walks out the door)_

RORY: Okay. _(pause)_ Well, would you mind some company?

JESS: Sure.

_(Rory watches him go down the steps with a look of confusion on her face)_

Downstairs

LUKE: _(sets down a box with 'Luke's' on it in front of Lorelai)_ There you go.

LORELAI: You know what? I changed my mind, I'm just going to eat it here.

LUKE: You're a fickle one.

LORELAI: I'm a _woman_.

LUKE: Ah.

LORELAI: Hey, Luke can I ask you about something?

LUKE: Sure.

LORELAI: When you―

_(Jess comes from upstairs with Rory following him)_

RORY: We're just gonna go for a quick walk around the block.

LORELAI: Okay, well stay warm.

RORY: We will. _(They leave)_

LORELAI: _(clears her throat)_ Ah, where was I? Okay. Um, when you decided to open the diner to _parties_ of all things…like, what was the, uh…reasoning behind that?

LUKE: Business.

LORELAI: I didn't realize that you were a businessman.

LUKE: Well, technically, since I own a business, I am.

LORELAI: Yeah, but I mean it's so not you.

LUKE: What's so not me?

LORELAI: Having…people in the diner.

LUKE: I repeat that I am a businessman, therefore, I need people to come and support my business.

LORELAI: I don't know. To me it just seemed out of nowhere.

LUKE: What do you mean out of nowhere?

LORELAI: Well, you didn't mention it to me, or to Rory, and it just seemed like a spontaneous sort of thing.

LUKE: Just because I didn't tell you?

LORELAI: I'm sorry, is that such a far-out concept?

LUKE: No, but I can make _business_ decisions, as I am a businessman―

LORELAI: Enough with the businessman talk! If you're going to keep saying it, do it in those nine different dialects of Farsi you're so damn fluent in. _(pauses)_ I just thought that…now I don't even remember what I thought.

LUKE: You're making it sound like I put your picture on the door with a big red 'X' over it.

LORELAI: Well, that sure would make things a lot clearer.

LUKE: Well, you know, I got a hammer and nails upstairs, and all I need is an 8 ½ by 11 photograph of yours, and you're done.

LORELAI: Thanks, I'll remember that.

LUKE: Good.

LORELAI: There's just so much changing around me, you know? Sookie is married. I'm not. Rory has a boyfriend. I don't. Rory will be going to college next year, and I'll still be here with the same life and the same everything, and she'll get to go and start her life and see everything I never saw and do everything I never did. And I love it here, and I have a good life, but it never changes where I want it to change, and everything gets twisted around where I want it to stay normal. And believe me, I know, I can be self-centered sometimes―

LUKE: No, really?

LORELAI: _(laughs)_ But when I have no constants in my life, I just want one thing to not change. And Luke, you wear the same damn outfit every day, I mean _you're_ constant.

LUKE: That's me – single white male, very constant.

LORELAI: And, I don't know. Everyone needs that, you know? And then you go and change my diner, my beautiful, beautiful diner!

LUKE: No, folks; she's not self-centered.

LORELAI: And it's like, 'Well, here are the Fates, all working together to just screw everything up for me.' And I just got to thinking, 'Well, this is the last straw. Luke's will be a franchise all across the nation with a special Luke's tower in Taipei, and then it'll be Lorelai who? And all of this was some evil scheme of someone's to just make everything even worse.

LUKE: Thank you, Richard Belzer.

LORELAI: And this thing with Chris…he's really going through with it. He's marrying that Princess Sherrie, and she's having her baby in a few weeks, and then, it's all over. I am so sick of complaining about it, and thinking about it, because it's like 'Pull yourself together. Get over it.' But I mean, how can I?

LUKE: I don't know.

LORELAI: Have you ever had to let someone go?

LUKE: Of course.

LORELAI: Sucks?

LUKE: Yeah, pretty much.

LORELAI: I wish there was a little guide to all this, because no, Diana, I don't know where I'm going to.

LUKE: Man, I hated that movie. I could've beat it with a stick.

LORELAI: Thank you for listening.

LUKE: You're welcome.

LORELAI: _(smiles)_ I know this may sound a little selfish, Luke, but don't ever change. For me. I don't want to walk in here one day, and be served by a gypsy.

LUKE: No gypsies, got it.

LORELAI: I don't want to see you putting gel in your hair, or wearing hot pants, and wielding a bedazzler.

LUKE: I should probably return those Richard Simmons tapes then.

LORELAI: And I don't want you to serve tofurkey for Christmas dinner, 'cause that's just wrong.

LUKE: I'm making a mental note.

LORELAI: Okay. Goodnight.

LUKE: Goodnight. _(Lorelai leaves)_

Cut to Rory and Jess sitting on the bridge in silence.

RORY: Okay, can we just get one thing straight?

JESS: Sure.

RORY: When you are sitting here staring into the distance in the freezing cold, and you've barely said a word to me the whole time, does it mean that a) something else is bothering you, b) you're mad at me for something, c) or you're just continuing with the whole brooding thing from before?

JESS: Where are you going to college next year?

RORY: Or d) none of the above. I don't know. I have this feeling that the whole Harvard thing isn't going to work out.

JESS: Why not?

RORY: Because, it wasn't my idea in the first place, it was my mom's, and I guess I'm just starting to think more for myself.

JESS: Right.

RORY: Plus the distance is just too much. To drive back here on the weekends every weekend would just be too much. I'd miss everyone too much. I'd miss you.

JESS: _(nods)_

RORY: Yale's a really good school, and it's closer, and my grandfather went there. It's probably more practical.

JESS: More practical for what?

RORY: For me. For me to go to college and do the college stuff, but to still be here in Stars Hollow. I don't want to lose that.

JESS: So would it be more practical for me to stay here and wait for you, or would it be more practical for me to go back to New York?

RORY: What does that mean?

JESS: It means what it is. What do you want?

RORY: I-I don't even get where this is coming from.

JESS: Rory, you're going to college, and you act like nothing will change.

RORY: Nothing _will_ change.

JESS: And you're deluding yourself if you believe that.

RORY: What, because I have a little faith that not everything turns out bad in the end?

JESS: You're treating this whole thing like it's so serious, yet you're solution is so simple.

RORY: What 'thing'? You and me?

JESS: Yes.

RORY: Oh, so this isn't serious? What am I, Shane #2?

JESS: Of course not.

RORY: Then why can't we make plans for next year?

JESS: _(shakes his head)_

RORY: What do you think is gonna happen?

JESS: The same thing that pushed us together. It's not like I was always here, Rory. You were with Dean, and _you_ cheated on _him_; that's why you broke up.

RORY: So basically, you don't trust me.

JESS: It's not that.

RORY: Jess, since when are you so insecure?

JESS: The timing's just really bad, Rory.

RORY: I know that.

JESS: All that time went by from when you were with Dean, 'til after the summer, 'til now, and now it's like it's almost too late.

RORY: I get it.

JESS: I don't get why it took you so long to make up your mind.

RORY: I was confused.

JESS: And what are you now?

RORY: Not confused!

JESS: So if Dean hadn't broken up with _you_, where would you be right now? Still confused?

RORY: No!

JESS: Why do you still have that bracelet?

RORY: What bracelet?

JESS: The one that's on your dresser, the one Dean gave you.

RORY: _(sighs)_ You are being really petty. _(gets up and starts to walk away)_

JESS: And you're avoiding the situation, as usual.

RORY: Fine. Why do I still have the bracelet? Because I liked it, and I didn't want to throw it away as some symbolic thing that it's over. I know it's over. And I don't regret anything I did, _especially_ not being with you. But you are upset about so much more than some stupid bracelet, and if you are questioning _my_ reasons for being with you, then I could do the same thing for you, because you are not like this. Dean was like this, but you aren't.

JESS: _(sarcastically)_ And that's a good thing, that I'm not like Dean?

RORY: _(shouting)_ What the hell do you want from me?

JESS: _(sighs)_ I just don't want you to go.

RORY: _(walks back over to him)_ I love you, too.


	2. The Gang's All Here

Christmas morning. Lorelai and Rory are standing outside of Luke's very early in the morning as Jess walks to the door to unlock it. They are holding gifts.

LORELAI: Hurry up, it's freezing out here.

JESS: _(opens the door)_ This wasn't my idea, and I should be sleeping right now.

RORY: Merry Christmas.

JESS: Merry Christmas.

LORELAI: Merry Christmas.

JESS: Yeah, okay, Merry Christmas.

RORY: So should we surprise Luke upstairs or downstairs?

JESS: Doesn't matter to me.

LORELAI: Well, if we go upstairs, we might find he sleeps in the buff, or he might have his underwear strung up and instead of the days of the week, he has the members of S Club 7, and that would just be so awkward. You know Luke – Mr. Secretive.

_Jess starts to walk away_

LORELAI: Okay, we're coming, we're coming.

Upstairs.

_Jess opens the door where Luke is sitting in a chair watching TV_.

LORELAI: No, Luke, you're already awake?

LUKE: So what?

LORELAI: We wanted to _surprise_ you. We wanted to rush up here and jump in the bed and say 'Merry Christmas, Luke!' just like in those really good Folgers commercials. And now you've ruined it.

LUKE: You know, technically, this is my apartment. I can kick you out at any time. And those Folgers commercials were nauseating.

LORELAI: Ugh. Wow, somewhere, Dickens is nodding approvingly.

RORY: Okay, gifts. _(She sits on the floor and puts the presents in a pile)_ Luke, this one is from Mom and me. _(hands him a box)_

LORELAI: Do you know what's inside?

LUKE: I'm not Johnny Carson.

LORELAI: Guess.

LUKE: I have no idea.

LORELAI: You're thinking 'Antique Pez dispensers', right?

LUKE: Actually, no I wasn't thinking that.

LORELAI: You know, Pez was originally a way for people to stop smoking.

JESS: Just open the box.

LORELAI: And now it's just a way for people to enhance their geekiness.

LUKE: I'm opening this thing now. _(opens the box to reveal a light blue t-shirt that says 'LUKE' in big red letters)_ You are unbelievable.

LORELAI: Ha! I knew you'd love it. 'Cause you know, I'm here so much, and people see me, and immediately think 'Who is that striking woman? Hmm, she must be Luke.' So I just want to help cut down on the chaos.

LUKE: You're so helpful that way.

LORELAI: I try. Now. What did you get _me_?

LUKE: _(pulls a box from behind him)_ Here you go.

LORELAI: _(holds it up to her ear and shakes)_ Hmm, this isn't what I _think_ it is, is it?

LUKE: It's exactly what you think it is.

LORELAI: Well, in that case. _(opens box to reveal a large package of herbal tea)_ Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Is this a joke to you?

LUKE: _(laughing)_

LORELAI: This is not funny. This is so not funny! This is the Pauly Shore of not funny gifts!

LUKE: Well, I try.

_Jess pulls Rory up by the hand, and leads her into his room._

LORELAI: Hey, Ashford and Simpson – no hanky-panky.

JESS: But it's the season of giving.

RORY: Jess.

JESS: _(closes door)_ Merry Christmas.

RORY: Merry Christmas.

(he kisses her)

RORY: Where's my present?

JESS: So now you want me to buy you stuff, too?

RORY: Where's my present?

JESS: Patience doesn't really run in your family, huh?

RORY: I won't be eighteen forever.

JESS: _(Hands her a hand-sized box)_ Here.

RORY: _(opens the box)_ What is it?

JESS: A music box. Here. _(He takes it from her, and winds it up. "The Nearness of You" starts playing)_

RORY: Oh, wow.

JESS: You like it?

RORY: Yes. _(She puts her head on his shoulder.)_

JESS: I thought you would.

Fade with the music tinkling in the background, and Norah Jones singing over it.

Open to Luke and Lorelai walking through town as carolers and other festive people trickle about.

LORELAI: Isn't it _beautiful_?

LUKE: Isn't what beautiful?

LORELAI: Stars Hollow! Everything is so festive, so magical, so alive with light.

LUKE: Oh, boy.

LORELAI: And this is your first time coming out here?

LUKE: Well, yeah. Every year at the diner it's Christmas. People wanna eat. So I feed the people.

LORELAI: Go, Evita.

LUKE: And what is it with all these lights? This isn't Rockefeller Center. If you want lights, go to China.

LORELAI: You're not living in the moment.

LUKE: One moment? Fine. But all these, they just keep going on and on, like that Lamb Chop song.

LORELAI: _(singing)_ This is the song that never ends…

LUKE: Stop it.

LORELAI: So testy, so on edge. I smell story.

LUKE: There's no story.

LORELAI: When you were a young boy, going through that special time in your life, you asked Santa for Boy George, and Santa said no. George was all up for it, but you know: laws.

LUKE: Oh, geez.

LORELAI: Or maybe you bought that special little lady in your life a special little box with a special little cubic zirconia inside, and she smelled a rat.

LUKE: If only little baby Jesus could hear you know.

LORELAI: Actually, it's _big_ baby Jesus, and he's in jail.

LUKE: What?

LORELAI: Oh, look at Miss Patty's snowflakes!

_Shot of little girls dressed like snowflakes, twirling around_.

LUKE: It's Baz Lurhman's wet dream out here.

_Kirk walks up to them, and has a bloody tissue hanging out of his nose._

LORELAI: Oh, my God! Kirk, what happened?

KIRK: Oh, nothing. Just a little accident.

LORELAI: What kind of accident?

KIRK: Well, I was playing with my Jack-in-the-Box, and it's never worked. Not in nearly 30 years. But this morning, it did. _(points to his nose)_

LORELAI: You've had the same Jack-in-the-Box for 30 years?

KIRK: Actually, no. I get a new one every year for Christmas. New to me, though I suspect that my mother actually steals them from Goodwill.

LORELAI: Oh. Well, good luck with that.

KIRK: I need you to pull it out.

LORELAI: What?

KIRK: The tissue, it's jammed up there. I'm afraid I'll unhook something in my brain if I pull it. I need a woman's touch. Would you do the honors?

LUKE: I'm gonna go get us some hot chocolate.

LORELAI: I really need to get out of this town more often.

Cut to Lane and Rory watching Miss Patty and her snowflakes.

RORY: So where's Dave?

LANE: Canada.

RORY: Trying to do that whole crossover thing?

LANE: Actually, no. He's visiting his grandma.

RORY: Aw, that's nice.

LANE: Yes, it is. He is _so_ nice. He's never a jerk, he's never corny, he's never uncool, he's just…Dave.

RORY: That's so awesome.

LANE: _We_ are so awesome.

RORY: Yes we are.

LANE: We are content with our lives, right? I have Dave, and you have Jess…you do still have Jess right?

RORY: Of course, why wouldn't I?

LANE: Well, it's just the last time I mentioned a steady, stable boyfriend of yours, it wasn't so steady and stable.

RORY: That was different.

LANE: Yeah, I guess.

RORY: It was. It is. I mean, Dean and I wouldn't have lasted past this year, but it will with Jess.

LANE: What are you guys gonna do after you leave?

RORY: I don't know. We'll figure something out. I just don't know. Yet.

LANE: Well, even if everything doesn't work out for the better, we always have the option of bag ladies.

RORY: Yes, we always have that option.

LANE: All I'd have to haul around would be my CDs and drums. And you you're books.

RORY: What about my CDs? We'll need the Avalanches to keep us peppy.

LANE: Fine.

RORY: And pictures of our old selves, just in case someone comes looking for us.

LANE: True. We could have those glamour shots done with the smoke around the face. Very Jon Benet.

RORY: I can't believe we're having this discussion. New topic.

LANE: Celebrity boxing?

RORY: Oh, yeah. Our other career choice.

LANE: There's my mom. I better get back over there. She'll come looking for me, and end up stopping time to find out where in the world is Lane Kim. She suspects something is up.

RORY: What do you mean?

LANE: She saw me talking to Dave.

RORY: Talking to Dave, or _"talking"_ to Dave _(she does the finger quotes)_?

LANE: Rory, am I standing here before you?

RORY: So why was she upset if you were just talking?

LANE: American boys.

RORY: Ah. Well, maybe you can get him to play her a hymn medley on his guitar.

LANE: Oh, yeah, sure. He and Jim Morrison could do a duet.

RORY: Well, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

LANE: And on that note, I leave. And tell me how the whole orchestra thing goes. I hope they don't suck. _(she leaves)_

Cut to Gilmore house on Christmas evening.

_(Rory walks into the living room where Lorelai is putting on earrings. She's wearing a burgundy knee-length dress)_

LORELAI: You look pretty!

RORY: _(twirls around)_ Thank you. Thank you very much.

LORELAI: I used to have a dress like that when I was around your age.

RORY: Where is it now?

LORELAI: I think you peed on it.

RORY: Oh.

LORELAI: Yeah.

RORY: But it was fun while it lasted, right?

LORELAI: Oh, yeah. In the end, it was all worth it.

RORY: And I think you will probably be the hottest mom there.

LORELAI: What's that you say? _Probably_? Come on Rory, it's Christmas. Give a little.

RORY: This Christmas is so much better than last year.

LORELAI: It's not over yet.

RORY: Yeah, but I mean so far. Last year Grandma and Grandpa were in a fight, and there was the whole Jess-Dean thing. This year: low key. No drama. Just a night of family-fun.

LORELAI: Ugh, don't make us out to be a PAX show.

RORY: Hey, I think Billy Ray Cyrus makes a great doctor.

LORELAI: Yeah, patients don't even need anesthesia, they're so entranced by his mullet.

RORY: Didn't dad used to have one of those?

LORELAI: Slightly. It was the 80s, what could you do?

RORY: Hibernate?

LORELAI: Hmm.

At the Inn. Rory, Jess, Luke, Sookie, Jackson, Emily and Richard are seated at a table together.

LORELAI: I'm so glad everyone here is tonight on this very special day, for so many reasons. Reese Norton and his orchestra have been kind enough to choose the Independence Inn for one of their stops on their very busy holiday tour across the country, and I know just about everyone here has heard of them. I would hope so, since you paid to come here. Uh, so without further ado, I give you the Reese Norton orchestra.

_(Everyone claps. The orchestra begins to play, and Lorelai goes and sits down at her table beside Rory.)_

Fade to later that night as everyone is leaving.

RORY: _(runs up behind Lorelai)_ Merry Christmas!

LORELAI: Merry Christmas! _(they hug)_

RORY: Wow, the orchestra really didn't suck.

LORELAI: That's just what I was thinking.

RORY: I thought they would suck. Something weird always happens here.

LORELAI: I know. But look – everyone is in one piece.

RORY: Did you and Grandma get into any fights?

LORELAI: No!

RORY: Did anything explode, implode, magically go poof to dust?

LORELAI: None of that either. I warned our fairy godmother about that.

RORY: So I assume that evil twin of yours is at bay, as well?

LORELAI: At least for this year.

RORY: Wow, I love Christmas.

LORELAI: Me, too. I mean, how can you not love a time when there are presents?

RORY: It's impossible. But, um, Dad called earlier.

LORELAI: He did.

RORY: He says hi, Merry Christmas, all that jazz.

LORELAI: Okay.

RORY: He said he might drop by later.

LORELAI: Drop by? Like just swing in on his velvet rope?

RORY: I don't know.

LORELAI: How long did you talk to him?

RORY: Not very long.

LORELAI: What did he say?

RORY: Really, nothing. I mean, he said that Sherrie was fine and everything. It's a boy.

LORELAI: Wow.

RORY: Yeah. He asked if we were coming to the wedding.

LORELAI: What did you tell him?

RORY: I mentioned the turkey-calling contest. Is that bad?

LORELAI: _(laughs)_ No, it's fine.

RORY: He asked me to suggest names. For the baby.

LORELAI: And?

RORY: I think Lorelai is a pretty good name.

LORELAI: Uh, you _better_.

RORY: I think he's trying to make it up to me, you know?

LORELAI: Yeah.

RORY: But I don't want to name this kid. I know he's my brother, but if Sherrie hadn't gotten pregnant, it's not like my life would be incomplete. It would be more complete, actually.

LORELAI: Okay, well…if he calls again, tell him I said good luck. And if he comes by, let me know, and we'll sneak out the back door.

RORY: Is teaching me avoidance really such a good idea?

LORELAI: Listen to your mother. 

_Emily and Richard walk up to Lorelai and Rory_._ Emily and Richard hug Rory_.

EMILY: Lorelai, that was a lovely dinner you organized.

RICHARD: I concur. The food, the music, the _company_…_ (leans down near Emily's face)_

EMILY: Oh, stop.

LORELAI: Thanks, Mom, Dad.

EMILY: The orchestra: splendid. What did you do to get them here this time of year?

LORELAI: Mom, please – there're are women and children present.

EMILY: _(sighs)_ I assume we'll be seeing you Friday for dinner.

LORELAI: Seven o'clock sharp.

EMILY: Yes, seven.

RICHARD: We can finish the holiday season in style.

LORELAI: You mean with Kwanzaa, Hanukah, and Boxing Day?

EMILY: Really, Lorelai, it's Christmas.

LORELAI: Sorry.

EMILY: Merry Christmas.

LORELAI: Merry Christmas.

RICHARD: Ditto on that.

LORELAI: Come on, Pat; you can be a little more creative.

EMILY: We'll leave before you begin to make sense.

RORY: Good call.

LORELAI: Adios, parentos. _(sighs)_ So close, but yet so far.

Cut to later that night at the Gilmore house. Rory is sitting in her bed listening to her music box. Lorelai walks in.

LORELAI: Hey, what's that?

RORY: What's what?

LORELAI: That hypnotizing machine you got there.

RORY: Oh, it's a music box.

LORELAI: _(sits down on the bed)_ A _music_ box.

RORY: Yeah.

LORELAI: Did Jess give that to you, or was it Tinkerbell?

RORY: Jess.

LORELAI: Pretty.

RORY: Yeah.

LORELAI: That's a pretty romantic thing he did.

RORY: _(shrugs and smiles)_ I guess.

LORELAI: He didn't make it, did he?

RORY: It's Jess, not Gepetto.

LORELAI: Just wondering. _(sighs)_ You seem really happy.

RORY: Well, yeah, it's Christmas.

LORELAI: No, I mean about Jess.

RORY: Oh. Yeah. I'm happy.

LORELAI: Well, that's good. I was just noticing. You don't really talk about him that much.

RORY: _(shrugs)_ Is that bad?

LORELAI: No, I totally understand. You two seem to have a good thing going. I don't want you to jinx it.

RORY: Sure.

LORELAI: I just – I don't know. It's weird. You couldn't stop talking about Dean before.

RORY: What does that have to do with Jess?

LORELAI: Nothing, just commenting.

RORY: Dean was my first boyfriend, and I had that whole girly thing going on.

LORELAI: Excuse me, Janeane Garofalo.

RORY: Well, you liked Dean.

LORELAI: Yeah, I did. I still do.

RORY: _(sighs)_

LORELAI: What? I'm not criticizing you with the whole Jess thing, I'm just―

RORY: Commenting.

LORELAI: Yeah.

RORY: Well, I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm fine. Everything's fine.

LORELAI: Hon, I don't want to get into a fight with you, especially not now. I'm not trying to influence or change your judgment, honest. I just…you used to run to me and tell me everything, like we were best friends.

RORY: We _are_ best friends.

LORELAI: I'm being stupid, I know.

RORY: No you're not.

LORELAI: I just kinda miss my little girl, that's all. The one who didn't know anything about the world; who thought she could dig a hole to China, and that snow was really God spilling flour while he made yeast rolls. And don't you dare say that you're not my little girl anymore.

RORY: I think someone's feeling a little empty nest syndrome.

LORELAI: Yeah, I took some Valium, but…

RORY: College is far, far away.

LORELAI: I've been reminding myself of that since you were three. And you're how old now?

RORY: Five.

LORELAI: Good, that's right.

RORY: Everything is going to be totally fine.

LORELAI: I hope that's not the denial-filled side of your brain speaking.

RORY: Mom, we totally removed that side last week.

LORELAI: I gotta keep track of these things. Hey, maybe later, we can run to Staples and buy some Post-its.

RORY: Good deal.

LORELAI: Okay. _(kisses Rory on the cheek)_ Don't have too much fun with that music box. They make people do crazy things, like on that one show.

RORY: Oh, yeah, like on that one show.

LORELAI: Do not mock your mother. Don't!

Cut to dinner on Friday night.

LORELAI: _(rings doorbell. It makes an off-key sound)_ What the hell was that?

RORY: This is a bad sign. This isn't how Christmas bells are supposed to be ringing.

LORELAI: _(rings bell again)_ Hmm, still funky-sounding, still no one answers the door. And one more time for the presses: _(rings the bell a third time. Emily answers the door)_

EMILY: _(answers the door) _Lorelai, you don't have to repeatedly ring the bell. This isn't a rodeo.

LORELAI: Has Bill been working on your electrical system? 'Cause your glockenspiel sure does sound screwy, as does the word "glockenspiel".

EMILY: And only two days after Christmas. You think you could take a break.

LORELAI: From being me? No, mom, I can't take a break. I'm just like the entire cast of _The Real World_.

EMILY: Rory, how are you?

RORY: I'm fine Grandma.

_They all head into the sitting room_.

EMILY: How has your Christmas been?

RORY: Great. Good food, good gifts.

LORELAI: Good goodness. 'Cause nothin's gooder than goodness, Mom. See? Serious answer.

RORY: Where's Grandpa?

EMILY: Messing with that silly contraption.

LORELAI: What contraption?

EMILY: The fireplace in the dining room. It's freezing in there.

LORELAI: Where are all the help?

EMILY: It's Christmas, Lorelai; they're with their families.

LORELAI: My mistake. I'm just used to busy Christmases here. Help in one door and out the other, just like that stock market talk through my head. 'Cause whoo – it's nothin' to me. I don't know how Martha Stewart does it.

RORY: Hey, let's play the quiet game.

_Richard walks in._

RICHARD: I'm afraid we'll just have to do without heat.

EMILY: Richard, that's insane.

RICHARD: Well, not really. You see, when there's no heat, that's a fact, Emily, not merely my humble opinion.

LORELAI: See, that's where I get it from.

RORY: We can just eat in here.

LORELAI: We can't eat in here.

EMILY: That's right we can't.

LORELAI: I know you so well.

RICHARD: It won't be so bad. We've been a little cold before.

EMILY: You'd think that everything would be functioning properly during the holiday season; that people would actually prepare for things like this.

LORELAI: Like buying a heater ahead of time? Maybe? Possibly? Perhaps?

EMILY: Everyone brace yourselves.

_They walk into the dining room where the food is already on the table._

LORELAI: Don't tell me you set this food out yourself, Mom.

EMILY: Do you really think I'm some helpless damsel in distress who can't do anything for herself?

LORELAI: _(laughs)_ No, it's just in situations like this, frankly my dear, people tend not to give a damn….about you know – people who have hired help and stuff. Man, that reference sounded way better in my head.

RORY: Let's have us a nice family discussion.

EMILY: Lorelai, I'm sure you have something witty to say.

LORELAI: No, not really.

RICHARD: Anything new with either of you?

LORELAI: No, not really.

RICHARD: Have you spoken to Christopher lately?

LORELAI: _Dad_.

RICHARD: I'm not trying to pry, I was just wondering. His child should be due very soon.

LORELAI: Yes, it's a boy.

RICHARD: Well, I hope you'll send him my congratulations.

LORELAI: Sure. Will you excuse me for a sec? I'm gonna go find that bottle of wine. _(leaves the room)_

EMILY: I'll be back. _(follows Lorelai into the kitchen)_

LORELAI: Hey, look, Mom: you forgot the bread.

EMILY: I hope you're not upset.

LORELAI: I'm not. It's just been a rough week, that's all.

EMILY: Are you going to the wedding?

LORELAI: I don't know. I think we might be busy.

EMILY: That's understandable.

LORELAI: Really?

EMILY: Rude, most certainly. But understandable.

LORELAI: Rory's still kinda upset. I think it might still be a while.

EMILY: He's already missed most of her childhood. A few months won't hurt.

LORELAI: That's what Luke told me.

EMILY: Really?

LORELAI: Yeah, he's sort of been my mediator on this. Incredibly patient, extremely attentive. He listens. Offers advice, doesn't offer advice. Sort of like an 8-ball.

EMILY: Then tell me something – why are you not romantically involved with him?

LORELAI: _(sighs)_ God, I hear this from someone every week.

EMILY: It would make your life easier, I'm sure. Mine, too.

LORELAI: Well, honestly, Mom, it couldn't work. I wouldn't let it because I need Luke as my friend. My best friend right now. I need someone other than Rory to talk to. Rory's not gonna be around pretty soon. And even if she is, she'll be with Jess, and she won't tell me everything like she used to, 'cause she's grown and doesn't need her mom so much anymore. And there will be so much more to tell, and so many more people to tell it to. She's my rock, but I can't hold on to her forever, so I'm deluding myself, and thinking that I can do that with Luke. I think that right now, he's the only person I can turn to.

EMILY: _(hurt)_ Oh. Well.

LORELAI: Mom…

EMILY: You do have a mother, you know.

LORELAI: I know.

EMILY: Am I in that circle of people you can depend on?

LORELAI: Of course.

EMILY: But am I on the go-to list?

LORELAI: _(stuttering)_ I―I…

_Rory comes in from the other room._

RORY: Hey, this is a family dinner, here. Get back in there.

LORELAI: Be right there.

_Lorelai follows Emily back into the dining room_.

Fade.

THE END


End file.
